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I WAS HOME IN my pyjamas watching the television.
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Ask my mother, she was there too.
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Raoul? Raoul was with me last night.
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Well, he drove up to the farm straight after work. I was watching television when I heard his truck pull up outside. You can always tell Raoul's truck because it makes a little clickety clack sound, although it goes real well.
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I'd say Raoul was a little drunk to tell you the truth. I could smell it on his breath.
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He said he wanted to take me someplace, but he wouldn't tell me where. I tried to say no but he insisted, telling me it wouldn't be for very long, that I didn't even have to get changed out of my pyjamas if I didn't want to, all I had to do was put on a coat. Mom was sleeping and we were saying all this in a whisper. She doesn't think much of Raoul.
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We drove out of town and I'd say about 10 miles into the desert, out past the airport. We were driving pretty slow, I can even recall there being that song on the radio, 'Suicidal, suicidal...' You know it? Raoul had a bottle of bourbon he took a sip of every now and then, but I don't touch the stuff. But he wasn't acting wild or out of control. If anything, I'd say he seemed happy, as in contented, satisfied, which was strange of Raoul. If you know Raoul, he aint often content. My mother likes to say he was born with ants in his pants. But I didn't want to question it - you know what they say about looking gift horses in the mouth.
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Well, after a while we turned off the road -
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Oh, left I think, no, wait, let me think... Pretty sure it was left. My sense of direction aint no good, you can ask anyone.
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Well, then we drove some more, past a gate - I had to open it - and then we were in the desert, no road underneath, and Raoul turned off the light and kept driving, like in the dark.
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Well, the moon was full last night, you may recall, and I dare say it'll be pretty close to full again tonight too. But as to what time it was I can't say, except that the moon was setting, that much I do know.
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How do I know? Because that big white moon was the whole point. That big old moon was why he took me there. You see, Raoul was in one of his romantic moods last night. It happens about twice a year and when it happens I drink my fill.
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Then we drove to the top of a hill, a little hill in the middle of all that space, if you can picture it. I mean, it felt like we were in the middle of nowhere, you know? Miles from anywhere. And that moon by then, it was ready to set, and there were these little patchy streaks of high cloud in the sky, and the moonlight was bouncing off of them, and everything was silver and blue. That's why Raoul took me out there.
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Well, officer, why don't you use your imagination?
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We fucked, is what we did. Right there in the car. What ore do you want to know? Want me to paint a picture?
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Then we drove home again is what we did. And I'll tell you something I probably shouldn't. Afterwards, as we were driving home, with the headlights off still, I looked across at Raoul and I could swear he was crying. I could swear there were wet streaks unning down his cheek in the silvery light, although it's hard to be sure, maybe it was just an optical illusion or something. And then he dropped me off at my mom's. He killed the engine and we just sat there. By now the moon had set and it much darker. But it wasn't totally dark. There was starlight. You ever seen starlight officer? All those stars, they make their own light. Turns out there's no such thing as complete darkness. And then Raoul told me he was quitting town for a while, leaving tomorrow, by which he meant today, heading west someplace, either he didn't say or I forgot, visit his sick mother or something. I wasn't listening to tell yo the truth. I was expecting this moment for a long time. Then we kissed and I got out and he drove off, and I just stood there, listening to the sound of that clickety clackety engine fading away in the silence, looking around at mom's farm that in the starlight seemed to be somewhere else, somewhere magical and sinister, and thinking about Raoul and those wet streaks running down his cheeks.
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Haven't you ever cried after sex, officer?
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Well, I feel sorry for you.
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